As an a true introvert I can say that most extraverts do not understand the way introverts interact with the world we live in. There are so many misconceptions about what an introvert is and what introverts do and frankly it is exceedingly frustrating. Rather than allowing myself to go into a full out rant, I am going to share a list of misconceptions I found online about a year ago on carlkingcreative.com --it is a list he compiled after reading The Introvert Advantage by Marti Laney Psy.D.
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TOP TEN MYTHS ABOUT INTROVERTS
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
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It is important to understand that introverts and extraverts are different, but that neither one is the "right" way to react and interact to social situations and the world we live in.
As an American I cannot speak for other societies, but I can say that American society favors extraverted people and introverts are constantly told that we need to change to conform with extraverted behavior. This creates a sense of isolation and a feeling that there is something "wrong" with us, but the fact is that introverts are perfectly fine the way we are. Yes, someone who is actually shy or timid and whose shyness and timidity prevent them from engaging socially in the ways in which they desire ought to learn to overcome those crippling fears. But introverts do not wish to engage in any other way.
We are not afraid of social situations.
We are not intimidated.
Our brains literally are wired differently than extraverts so that the loud crowded social gathers in which extraverts thrive leave introverts feelings overwhelmed and mentally drained in a short time.
We are not boring. We just do not require the same level of activity to amuse ourselves. Sure we enjoy outings and activities, but we are just as happy sitting on our own lost in our thoughts or in observation of the world around us.
Society tries to tell us that we would be happy if we became extraverts, but to try to behave in ways that are contrary to our nature create more frustration and isolation for us. No one can make an introvert into an extravert. We need to be free to be who we are and to interact socially in the manner in which we are biologically programmed to interact.
We all need to respect each other (that means introverts also need to respect that extraverts are wired differently than we are) and try to understand that neither introvert or extravert is "right." Rather, each is different, each have their benefits and draw backs and that introverts and extraverts can engage socially if both are willing to learn about each other and be respectful of the needs and limits of the other.
~~*~~
TOP TEN MYTHS ABOUT INTROVERTS
Myth #1 – Introverts don’t like to talk.
This is not true. Introverts just don’t talk unless they have something to say. They hate small talk. Get an introvert talking about something they are interested in, and they won’t shut up for days.
Myth #2 – Introverts are shy.
Shyness has nothing to do with being an Introvert. Introverts are not necessarily afraid of people. What they need is a reason to interact. They don’t interact for the sake of interacting. If you want to talk to an Introvert, just start talking. Don’t worry about being polite.
Myth #3 – Introverts are rude.
Introverts often don’t see a reason for beating around the bush with social pleasantries. They want everyone to just be real and honest. Unfortunately, this is not acceptable in most settings, so Introverts can feel a lot of pressure to fit in, which they find exhausting.
Myth #4 – Introverts don’t like people.
On the contrary, Introverts intensely value the few friends they have. They can count their close friends on one hand. If you are lucky enough for an introvert to consider you a friend, you probably have a loyal ally for life. Once you have earned their respect as being a person of substance, you’re in.
Myth #5 – Introverts don’t like to go out in public.
Nonsense. Introverts just don’t like to go out in public FOR AS LONG. They also like to avoid the complications that are involved in public activities. They take in data and experiences very quickly, and as a result, don’t need to be there for long to “get it.” They’re ready to go home, recharge, and process it all. In fact, recharging is absolutely crucial for Introverts.
Myth #6 – Introverts always want to be alone.
Introverts are perfectly comfortable with their own thoughts. They think a lot. They daydream. They like to have problems to work on, puzzles to solve. But they can also get incredibly lonely if they don’t have anyone to share their discoveries with. They crave an authentic and sincere connection with ONE PERSON at a time.
Myth #7 – Introverts are weird.
Introverts are often individualists. They don’t follow the crowd. They’d prefer to be valued for their novel ways of living. They think for themselves and because of that, they often challenge the norm. They don’t make most decisions based on what is popular or trendy.
Myth #8 – Introverts are aloof nerds.
Introverts are people who primarily look inward, paying close attention to their thoughts and emotions. It’s not that they are incapable of paying attention to what is going on around them, it’s just that their inner world is much more stimulating and rewarding to them.
Myth #9 – Introverts don’t know how to relax and have fun.
Introverts typically relax at home or in nature, not in busy public places. Introverts are not thrill seekers and adrenaline junkies. If there is too much talking and noise going on, they shut down. Their brains are too sensitive to the neurotransmitter called Dopamine. Introverts and Extroverts have different dominant neuro-pathways. Just look it up.
Myth #10 – Introverts can fix themselves and become Extroverts.
Introverts cannot “fix themselves” and deserve respect for their natural temperament and contributions to the human race. In fact, one study (Silverman, 1986) showed that the percentage of Introverts increases with IQ.
~~*~~
It is important to understand that introverts and extraverts are different, but that neither one is the "right" way to react and interact to social situations and the world we live in.
As an American I cannot speak for other societies, but I can say that American society favors extraverted people and introverts are constantly told that we need to change to conform with extraverted behavior. This creates a sense of isolation and a feeling that there is something "wrong" with us, but the fact is that introverts are perfectly fine the way we are. Yes, someone who is actually shy or timid and whose shyness and timidity prevent them from engaging socially in the ways in which they desire ought to learn to overcome those crippling fears. But introverts do not wish to engage in any other way.
We are not afraid of social situations.
We are not intimidated.
Our brains literally are wired differently than extraverts so that the loud crowded social gathers in which extraverts thrive leave introverts feelings overwhelmed and mentally drained in a short time.
We are not boring. We just do not require the same level of activity to amuse ourselves. Sure we enjoy outings and activities, but we are just as happy sitting on our own lost in our thoughts or in observation of the world around us.
Society tries to tell us that we would be happy if we became extraverts, but to try to behave in ways that are contrary to our nature create more frustration and isolation for us. No one can make an introvert into an extravert. We need to be free to be who we are and to interact socially in the manner in which we are biologically programmed to interact.
We all need to respect each other (that means introverts also need to respect that extraverts are wired differently than we are) and try to understand that neither introvert or extravert is "right." Rather, each is different, each have their benefits and draw backs and that introverts and extraverts can engage socially if both are willing to learn about each other and be respectful of the needs and limits of the other.